Beige Brow
Valentines day to me is about GIFTS!!
its not about love...its a greeting card holiday.
If you care about someone...then you show them EVERY DAY!! You dont wait for one day to cook for them, or to shower them with praise!
My bf came over last night and i ordered in and presented his gift. He likes to make his own shirts and so i got him all the supplies he wold need to do so.
This morning he left (did not take his gift with him) and came back to pick me up at 2 for a play we had been planning to see for months. He spent the entire time slumped in his chair.
We went antiquing where he spent most of the time listless and mopey.
Im leu of going to his house for dinner (he oft makes dinner, no candles, flowers, or fluff), i asked him to take me home.
Am i being silly?
Answer
You're not silly at all! It's nice when someone puts together dinner for you, but it also shows that they really put time & consideration into it if they add a romantic touch. As for gifts, I often treat my family members with coffee or lunch or buy something small & nice every month of so because I like to bestow those I love with simple things. It makes me feel good when someone takes the time to get me something to make me happy, which is why I do it for other people. You said, "If you care about someone, you show them everyday." I'm guessing that it's not just on Valentine's Day that he doesn't buy little gifts & whatnot, which is probably WHY your annoyed because on the one day when it almost expected that he does SOMETHING, he does nothing as usual even then. Let him know that setting the mood with flowers or candles is something simple but special & less-than time consuming that you would really appreciate. Let him know that the little treats here & there mean more than he thinks. Setting the table nicely & buying a bouquet on Valentine's Day neither takes hours or burns a whole in your wallet, so what reason does he have for neglecting either? He should know that doing those little things for you just lets you know that he was thinking of you & wanted to see you smile. I'm sure he often IS thinking about you & wants to make you happy, but guys sometimes don't pick up on the little things that please us, don't think it's all that important, or are uncomfortable about getting together what they think of as girly things. Tell him about how much you appreciate those little things. Personally, a single rose, a box of chocolates, or tacky stuffed animal is wonderful, because it just lets me know that someone's thinking of me! Don't nag at him obviously; discuss the topic in a manner in which he can understand your point of view & perhaps empathize a bit. About leaving his gift behind, I don't know what kind of feedback to give about that, but I found a passage on a site that you might like to refer to in the future...
"If you do something nice for someone, it makes you feel good on two levels. You feel pleased with yourself and extra-warm toward the person you've just spoiled. To justify the effort or expense, we often over-idealize how wonderful he is to deserve it! End result: we like the person more. When someone does something nice for us, we're pleased. But there are a whole lot of other emotions that come into play -- and they're not all good. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed. There's pressure to live up to being the wonderful person who inspired such a gift/act, not to mention pressure to return the favor. It's all even trickier if the "nice thing" comes from someone you very much like but aren't sure about yet. Got the point? When we're infatuated with someone, we're desperate to do nice things for him. You're much better off letting him spoil you."
So basically, you can either let nature takes its course & let things play out on their own, or you can tell him personally how much the small stuff really means. Either way, good luck!
You're not silly at all! It's nice when someone puts together dinner for you, but it also shows that they really put time & consideration into it if they add a romantic touch. As for gifts, I often treat my family members with coffee or lunch or buy something small & nice every month of so because I like to bestow those I love with simple things. It makes me feel good when someone takes the time to get me something to make me happy, which is why I do it for other people. You said, "If you care about someone, you show them everyday." I'm guessing that it's not just on Valentine's Day that he doesn't buy little gifts & whatnot, which is probably WHY your annoyed because on the one day when it almost expected that he does SOMETHING, he does nothing as usual even then. Let him know that setting the mood with flowers or candles is something simple but special & less-than time consuming that you would really appreciate. Let him know that the little treats here & there mean more than he thinks. Setting the table nicely & buying a bouquet on Valentine's Day neither takes hours or burns a whole in your wallet, so what reason does he have for neglecting either? He should know that doing those little things for you just lets you know that he was thinking of you & wanted to see you smile. I'm sure he often IS thinking about you & wants to make you happy, but guys sometimes don't pick up on the little things that please us, don't think it's all that important, or are uncomfortable about getting together what they think of as girly things. Tell him about how much you appreciate those little things. Personally, a single rose, a box of chocolates, or tacky stuffed animal is wonderful, because it just lets me know that someone's thinking of me! Don't nag at him obviously; discuss the topic in a manner in which he can understand your point of view & perhaps empathize a bit. About leaving his gift behind, I don't know what kind of feedback to give about that, but I found a passage on a site that you might like to refer to in the future...
"If you do something nice for someone, it makes you feel good on two levels. You feel pleased with yourself and extra-warm toward the person you've just spoiled. To justify the effort or expense, we often over-idealize how wonderful he is to deserve it! End result: we like the person more. When someone does something nice for us, we're pleased. But there are a whole lot of other emotions that come into play -- and they're not all good. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed. There's pressure to live up to being the wonderful person who inspired such a gift/act, not to mention pressure to return the favor. It's all even trickier if the "nice thing" comes from someone you very much like but aren't sure about yet. Got the point? When we're infatuated with someone, we're desperate to do nice things for him. You're much better off letting him spoil you."
So basically, you can either let nature takes its course & let things play out on their own, or you can tell him personally how much the small stuff really means. Either way, good luck!
what is a good v day gift ?
Kaden's Mo
i wanted to send some flowers to my boyfriend house or job do you think that would be nice if not give me suggestions plz
Answer
I don't know if guys appreciate flowers as much as women do, especially if it's sent to his job. He could be just embarrassed. We don't know him, & you do, so it's not for us to judge. Maybe a succulent like a jade plant that you've put in a clay pot for him would be good to deliver to him yourself. It would last longer than flowers & doesn't take a lot of watering.
How about a picture of you or maybe a collage of photos of the 2 of you together & maybe somewhere you've been together like a zoo or wherever? It could be like one of those decorated scrapbook pages, only framed & ready to hang. Doesn't have to be expensive. I suppose the supplies are expensive, but not like a lot of stuff like jewelry.
Or, how about a gift certificate for a skating rink or something you like to do together, but not on a particular day or evening? Or maybe a homemade gift certificate for a meal at your house or dessert & coffee would be fun. You could decorate it, & it could be quite charming. Or plan an evening alone together at your place, trading babysitting with someone, even if it has to be another night. You could plan a rented movie & snacks. (unless that's old hat for you already) You get the general idea, I'm sure, & can plan whatever suits your interests.
A Swiss Army Knife is a timeless gift that a lot of guys like, if he doesn't already have one. I was in a group with 4 guys led by a traveling couple, & the guys all wanted us to get the couple a Swiss Army Knife as a thank-you gift. They were unanimous in thinking it was a perfect gift, so maybe that's a common thought among men. It was fine with me. It was kind of clever. I thought it was wonderful that they came up with the whole idea on their own & did the shopping. My brother also picked that as a gift for my mother's second husband. If not for this occasion, keep the idea for another time.
Flashlights & lanterns & sports items are all good, too. There are wind-up flashlights now for power outages. Some of them will even charge a cellphone or laptop.
There have been so many sales lately, so maybe you'd see a good price on a sweater, if there are any left, or maybe some witty T-shirt, as long as it doesn't say something insulting. That's if you didn't already use those ideas at Christmas.
Enjoy!
I don't know if guys appreciate flowers as much as women do, especially if it's sent to his job. He could be just embarrassed. We don't know him, & you do, so it's not for us to judge. Maybe a succulent like a jade plant that you've put in a clay pot for him would be good to deliver to him yourself. It would last longer than flowers & doesn't take a lot of watering.
How about a picture of you or maybe a collage of photos of the 2 of you together & maybe somewhere you've been together like a zoo or wherever? It could be like one of those decorated scrapbook pages, only framed & ready to hang. Doesn't have to be expensive. I suppose the supplies are expensive, but not like a lot of stuff like jewelry.
Or, how about a gift certificate for a skating rink or something you like to do together, but not on a particular day or evening? Or maybe a homemade gift certificate for a meal at your house or dessert & coffee would be fun. You could decorate it, & it could be quite charming. Or plan an evening alone together at your place, trading babysitting with someone, even if it has to be another night. You could plan a rented movie & snacks. (unless that's old hat for you already) You get the general idea, I'm sure, & can plan whatever suits your interests.
A Swiss Army Knife is a timeless gift that a lot of guys like, if he doesn't already have one. I was in a group with 4 guys led by a traveling couple, & the guys all wanted us to get the couple a Swiss Army Knife as a thank-you gift. They were unanimous in thinking it was a perfect gift, so maybe that's a common thought among men. It was fine with me. It was kind of clever. I thought it was wonderful that they came up with the whole idea on their own & did the shopping. My brother also picked that as a gift for my mother's second husband. If not for this occasion, keep the idea for another time.
Flashlights & lanterns & sports items are all good, too. There are wind-up flashlights now for power outages. Some of them will even charge a cellphone or laptop.
There have been so many sales lately, so maybe you'd see a good price on a sweater, if there are any left, or maybe some witty T-shirt, as long as it doesn't say something insulting. That's if you didn't already use those ideas at Christmas.
Enjoy!
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