Answers Me
It’s days before many begin exchanging gifts and we’re about to enter the last shopping weekend before Christmas. What gift can you suggest for your office mate or boss?
Answer
Without being too personal, I think that despite it's being the office, a gift that shows that you know something about them and put some thought into it is always the best way to go instead of "the old stand-bys".
For example, if they have a hobby that they talk about, a book or gift certificate related to it would be good. When our boss was out on sick leave, we bought him a model sailboat kit to put together while recovering since we knew it was a hobby of his. He loved it and was so touched that we went to the effort to find him something that he would really enjoy.
Even something small and silly like a can of more expensive tennis balls if they are a tennis player shows that you thought about something that was personal to them.
If they have children, a gift certificate to an indoor playground, if the kids are preschoolers or something that they can do as a family such as a movie theatre gift certificate, if the kids are older would no doubt be very welcome since it's something they can do to spend more time with their family.
If they never talk about their personal lives, then the stand-bys will have to do. :)
Without being too personal, I think that despite it's being the office, a gift that shows that you know something about them and put some thought into it is always the best way to go instead of "the old stand-bys".
For example, if they have a hobby that they talk about, a book or gift certificate related to it would be good. When our boss was out on sick leave, we bought him a model sailboat kit to put together while recovering since we knew it was a hobby of his. He loved it and was so touched that we went to the effort to find him something that he would really enjoy.
Even something small and silly like a can of more expensive tennis balls if they are a tennis player shows that you thought about something that was personal to them.
If they have children, a gift certificate to an indoor playground, if the kids are preschoolers or something that they can do as a family such as a movie theatre gift certificate, if the kids are older would no doubt be very welcome since it's something they can do to spend more time with their family.
If they never talk about their personal lives, then the stand-bys will have to do. :)
Wedding gift office etiquette?
VCL
I work in a doctor's office. One of the receptionists has a son who is getting married this weekend. I do not know the son or the woman he is getting married to. Today, one of the other receptionists came around taking up a collection for a gift for the couple getting married. She stated that everyone was giving $20 and it would be used to purchase a gift certificate to one of the stores where the couple is registered. I have never given a wedding gift or attended a wedding if I didn't know either of the couple getting married. My question is; Am I obligated to contribute to the joint office gift for a couple I do not know? (and I am not particularly close to the groom's mother who works in the office) Would you contribute under these circumstances and if not, what can I say to nicely decline when they come around again to try and collect?
Additional info to consider: some of the other girls do know the bride because she worked with them several years ago (before I came to the office)
Also: we employees usually remember each other with a monthly birthday dinner and other ocassions. I got a gift card from my co-workers when I got married last August. However, when my mother-in-law passed away in March, they didn't even acknowledge it with even a card or plant. For that reason, I am having difficulty about whether or not to contribute for a wedding gift when I don't even know either the Bride or Groom.
Answer
I can understand your hurt about them not acknowledging your Mother-in-Law's death. Office things are tricky sometimes, and often they don't work out too evenly or fairly. You can bet that when your Mother- in -Law died, there was some talk about what to do. For whatever reason, nothing was done- and that was the wrong choice. It could be that they felt awkward about such a sad situation, and weren't sure what to do.
At any rate, now there is a celebration happening for a coworker who has significant ties to the office- both she and her daughter have worked there. Despite you not having ties to the Bride, there are others who do, and undoubtedly it is one of them who started the contribution idea. They should have thought about it first, realizing that not everyone in the office worked with the Bride, or even knows her. But like it or not, if you don't contribute, you will look bad. Worse yet, somebody may remember that nothing was done when your Mother-in-Law died, and now you are taking it out on this unsuspecting Bride. It's not fair. I'm totally on your side.
But maybe there's hope- it sounds like the "envelope woman" has gone around the office once, and you somehow avoided the situation. You could just wait it out, and hope she doesn't come back. Maybe somebody clued her in that not everybody in the office should be expected to contribute. Or, if you have the courage, you could say "Gee, Amanda, I haven't been here long enough to have gotten to work with Jennifer. I feel awkward contributing for a gift to someone I have never met." She may just say that's fine, and that she didn't want to leave you out of the group.
It's a dicy situation. The easier thing to do would be to give some money. You could just give $10 instead of 20, to make it less painful.
I'm sympathetic to your plight. Working in an office with a bunch of women isn't for sissies.
I can understand your hurt about them not acknowledging your Mother-in-Law's death. Office things are tricky sometimes, and often they don't work out too evenly or fairly. You can bet that when your Mother- in -Law died, there was some talk about what to do. For whatever reason, nothing was done- and that was the wrong choice. It could be that they felt awkward about such a sad situation, and weren't sure what to do.
At any rate, now there is a celebration happening for a coworker who has significant ties to the office- both she and her daughter have worked there. Despite you not having ties to the Bride, there are others who do, and undoubtedly it is one of them who started the contribution idea. They should have thought about it first, realizing that not everyone in the office worked with the Bride, or even knows her. But like it or not, if you don't contribute, you will look bad. Worse yet, somebody may remember that nothing was done when your Mother-in-Law died, and now you are taking it out on this unsuspecting Bride. It's not fair. I'm totally on your side.
But maybe there's hope- it sounds like the "envelope woman" has gone around the office once, and you somehow avoided the situation. You could just wait it out, and hope she doesn't come back. Maybe somebody clued her in that not everybody in the office should be expected to contribute. Or, if you have the courage, you could say "Gee, Amanda, I haven't been here long enough to have gotten to work with Jennifer. I feel awkward contributing for a gift to someone I have never met." She may just say that's fine, and that she didn't want to leave you out of the group.
It's a dicy situation. The easier thing to do would be to give some money. You could just give $10 instead of 20, to make it less painful.
I'm sympathetic to your plight. Working in an office with a bunch of women isn't for sissies.
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